You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
