I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
