Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
