What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just tell him i said nine months
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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