she was so not down for the gang bang
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
