cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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