i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
