I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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