i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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