omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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