omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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