What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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