I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He better not be in your backpack
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
