I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
