id be glad to
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
