ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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