lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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