am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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