I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
