I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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