If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
