white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
