in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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