i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
