hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
