I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
