Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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