you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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