the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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