I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
