everyone is single if you try hard enough
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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