out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
