jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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