I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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