4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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