I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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