Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
