If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
