i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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