i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
