y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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