Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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