Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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