this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
