It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
