After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
