Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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