So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
