So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What drink are we having for lunch?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My dick has a subreddit
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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