bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
